The Vagina is a war zone

It looks like everyone who doesn’t have one wants a piece of it. Literally. And on top of that, they want governing rights too. I am not being vulgar, I was raised well, I promise you. Let me explain.

You would be shocked to know the number of harmful practices to the vagina and how diverse they are. I would like to bring to your attention just a number of them to understand what I am saying. By the time you are done reading this blog, you probably would have remembered one that I didn’t put here.

Let me tell you real quick about female genital mutilation (FGM). There are 4 types of  FGM. Type I and II being the total removal of the labia and the clitoris. Type 3 is called infibulation, which is making the vaginal opening small by sealing it, they cut and repositioning the labia. type 4 is other forms of manipulations they do the vagina like massaging the clitoris (to make it smaller), burning some part of the vagina, scrapping, pricking, breaking the hymen, All this s*** is done to girls and women. 

Gams Be

To bring this issue closer to home, Labia elongation (Gukuna, guca imyeyo) used to be part of type 4, until it was removed from the WHO definitions due to lack of research and fear that it might derail or delay the conversation about the actual cutting, which had more consequences and was urgent.  

Why do these practices happen?

These practices are deeply engraved in the cultures and societies and are supported by a number of traditions. Most of all though, they are tools to control women, their sexuality, and overall, their freedom. A girl will be told that without undergoing the practice, she will not be ‘honored’ to have a husband, that if at all she does, then her marriage will not succeed, or that she will simply be a shame to her parents. Imagine growing up being told that the ultimate goal of your life is to get married, become a mother, and collect the badge of respect, but that can only happen if you follow the traditions' book and let them cut it! What is a piece of skin compared to trauma and stigma for the rest of your life? 

In West Africa for example, precisely in Mali, the clitoris is believed to be at the center of some superstition. When girls have been cut, their clitorises are sent to men who at the same time have been performing male circumcision, the pieces of meat are then cooked and eaten. They eat their girls, literally! A mixture made of the dried clitoris is sold to politicians and other people as the concoction is believed to make an individual attractive and likable, irresistible, basically!

In southern Africa countries, herbs are introduced into the vagina to make it dry and tight. Some men say to like sexual intercourse that way, dry!  It gives them the impression that they are having sex with a virgin! (Kill me already).

In many instances, especially in North Africa, women will go the extra mile to reconstruct their hymen, because what would you say if his highness, the supreme leader of your life and vagina finds out that you haven’t been a virgin all this time?

Did I talk about vaginal bleaching? Mukorogo 3.0. Yeah, bro, some want it white, because of the oldest lie in the world...white is holy and black is dirty. All these practices are done because a girl must fit in and conform to the ideal that the society created for her.

What then is the role of the vagina owner?

This obsession is unbelievable. Telling women how their cherished, hidden, internal pockets should be used, what should go in, and when, creating a vagina user manual is really not it. As if this wasn’t enough, 'people' sometimes go ahead and take it by force! (Does rape ring a bell?)

To those saying that these practices are facilitated by fellow women, I can tell you this: It doesn't matter if older women are the ones who seem to perpetuate the harmful traditions and push the young ones to toe the line, they too are victims of the system, the same system that says girls are to be wives and their bodies are to offer pleasure, even though they get none. 

Can we collectively please pacify the vagina region and let the owner rule over it?

If you don’t own one, kindly refrain yourself from advising on how it should be managed. No one asked you. And if you happen to have one, well, congratulations, you may discuss its issues but please do not ask your daughter to transform it into some sort of giveaway. Is it on promotion? Pay 100, get the V and all these things around it for free! Mama, your daughters and nieces vaginas are not gifts to be wrapped and offered as a thank you note.

Please stay away from people’s vaginas unless you are two consenting adults.

Sincerely,

A concerned vagina owner.

Murakoze.  

*Disclaimer: I considered writing this blog in Kinyarwanda, but let say that I want to keep my itorero certificate. I wasn’t going to type ‘imyanya myibarukiro y’umuugore/ Imyanya ndagagitsina y’umugore’ or any other word every time I wrote vagina. Also, the energy of Umuco Brigade is not welcome.

Cheers.